I bought laundry soap today.

Not a news-making headline for most of us, right?!? The purchase itself isn’t that big of a deal, but I learned a heavy lesson because of it and just had to sit down and share it with you tonight.

I’ve been making my own laundry detergent, both powder and liquid varieties for a few years now. I enjoy it. It’s my thing. It costs pennies per load, I know what’s in it, I can adjust the formula to my liking, and it’s very simple Suzy-homemakerish….I’d even go so far as to say I’m a homemade laundry soap advocate.

So why did I go against a belief of mine in the first place? Simply put, I ran out of one of the ingredients, waiting Amazon’s 5-8 business days for Super Saver Shipping would mean no loads of laundry for 5-8 days, 5-8 days with no clean laundry would be a full-scale crisis in my family, I was already going to Costco, and Costco had a coupon for Tide. I was a Tide girl in my former life. So I bought the big jug of soap.

I brought the soap downstairs to my laundry room, threw some sheets and towels into the wash basin, opened the drawer for the soap, cracked open the bottle, got ready to pour, and then I felt it……….

Guilt, Shame, Embarrassment, Judgment……..!!!!????

Guilt that I’d spent so much money on fancy soap.

Embarrassment at the place in the back of my mind that admits my soap doesn’t clean my clothes as well as I’d like.

Shame that I gave in to something of which I’ve been stubbornly opposed.

“What if someone asks about my soap? Do I have a responsibility in this social media generation to tell my Facebook friends and followers about this? Am I a fraud for choosing to pursue cleaner, better smelling laundry? Can I be causing harm to my family by pouring some potentially hazardous chemical into our clothes every day? Am I unknowingly supporting a corporation that stands against things I so righteously believe?”

It isn’t lost on me that we’re still talking about laundry soap, but I honestly stood there and had to examine my heart and my thought processes. I had to ask myself if I practice the same judgment of others I was heaping upon myself. I’m not sure I’m all that proud of the answer.

Quite some time ago I heard a sermon that’s stuck with me through the years. The pastor was speaking about the fine balance beam we walk as followers of Christ between truth and love, grace and judgment. Our experiences and environments help to shape us into the kind of people that tend toward one side or the other in that balancing act. My personality tends to be heavier on the truth of something, lighter on the love in how the thing is spoken or perceived. Unchecked, I can jump quickly to judgment but be slow to extend {or accept} grace.

This laundry soap thing hit me so hard because I think I needed a real reminder of just who I am, and how self-righteously nasty I can be without God’s guidance and influence. It’s not difficult to complain and find fault with someone or some situation. The whole world expects it and comes right alongside you to encourage it. We’re called, as Christians, to do better than that!

So why aren’t we?!

Why do we feel a sense of pride, whether we acknowledge it or not, when we’ve found a chink in someone’s armor? Why don’t we care more about the sinner than the sin? How can we get so unbelievably worked up about things we’re not willing to pitch in and help change? I’m not exempting myself, dear friends, not at all! I’m writing to confess how terribly convicted my heart has been in these very areas.

The fact is truth is nothing without love, and we have NO business handing down judgment, only pervasive grace is permitted to us as believers.

²⁹  Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ~ Ephesians 4:29-30 ESV

I want to be in the business of avoiding the things the bible tells me ‘grieve the Holy Spirit of God’, don’t you?? So how do you girls {or guys} keep yourselves in check when it comes to those encroaching feelings of judgment? Have you ever had a ‘laundry soap’ moment…..something that just blindsided you with conviction, and maybe a little heart-change? I would be most grateful if you’d leave a quick comment and tell me about it!

You can find this post linked up these fine places: